The Love of a Mate Read online

  Of course, he could have wrapped his hand around his cock, but the idea of doing that without his lover’s permission sent a shiver of uncertainty down his spine. He sucked harder around the other wolf’s cock in response.

  Alfred’s hands suddenly clenched in the blankets on either side of his body. That was Caden’s only warning before, with a jerky little thrust of the hips, Alfred spilled into his mouth.

  Swallowing rapidly, Caden took everything the other wolf had to give him, unwilling to risk missing a single drop.

  Barely a second later, Alfred reached for his shoulder. Caden tensed, sure that there would be a vivid bruise on that patch of skin the next day, but against all his expectations, the grip the other man took on him was gentle. It felt more like a request to stay there than an order to do so.

  Caden knew it was stupid to think Alfred really could have learnt so much in so short a time, but as he moved to rest his forehead against his lover’s hip bone, the tip of Alfred’s cock still nestled between his lips, it was almost impossible for him to believe it wasn’t true.

  Alfred was learning. All the potential Caden saw in him really was that close to the surface. The man he loved was soon going to be the wolf Caden knew he could be with just a little bit of encouragement.

  Perhaps it wouldn’t actually take as long as Caden feared it might to undo the damage the pack had done to him. Perhaps they could think about—

  Alfred’s hand slid over Caden’s neck. Fingers twined in his hair and tugged him up the other wolf’s body. Going with it, Caden let Alfred’s cock slip from between his lips as his lover guided him up the bed and brought their lips together for the first time.

  The kiss was so sweet, so sleepy, it was almost impossible for Caden to remember that Alfred was actually licking the taste of his own cum out of his mouth as one tender little kiss drifted on into another, then another.

  Tilting his head to the side, Caden wasn’t capable of doing anything other than offering up his lips for the other man to do with as he pleased. He’d done what he’d set out to do, and it was all going so well and, and he’d been watching Alfred from much too far away for so long, and…

  Fabric brushed against Caden’s back. He jerked in surprise. He tried to look over his shoulder, but that was impossible, because suddenly his shoulders and his back were both flat against the mattress and somehow, while he’d been paying far more attention to the kiss than his surroundings, their positions had reversed and Alfred was looming over him while Caden lay pinned to the bed.

  Reaching up, he put his hands against Alfred’s shoulders, but he didn’t have the strength of will to actually push him away. His fingers merely stroked over the slight sheen the massage oil had left on the other wolf’s skin, caressing rather than truly resisting.

  Candle light flickered across Alfred’s face as he stared down at Caden, lending a warm glow to the other man’s expression, making him look far more affectionate and pleased with the world than Caden had ever known him to be before.

  “We should slow down,” Caden managed to whisper.

  Candlelight be damned, a frown instantly flashed across Alfred’s forehead. Tension rushed back into his body. “Who died and made you king of the bed?” he demanded, a touch of a growl in his voice.

  Caden managed to push a little at the other gamma’s shoulders as he sought mental space. Alfred’s hand quickly wrapped around his wrist and pinned it to the mattress.

  Too quick! Even as some annoyingly sensible part of Caden screamed that fact at him, the rest of him was more than happy to simply sigh in complete contentment.

  That was exactly how things should be between them. It was what they both wanted. It was what both their natures needed to find in their mate. And…and it was still too soon for either of them to have what they wanted.

  It almost tore something deep inside Caden’s soul, but somehow he forced himself to shake his head. “We need to slow down,” he repeated.

  All his years of flirtation served him well. His tone of voice was exactly what he wanted it to be. None of his inner anguish crept through.

  “You’re saying you’ve never…” Alfred hesitated. As he pulled back, his hand left Caden’s wrist.

  Caden blinked at him, trying to work out what the other wolf was talking about.

  “I thought you’d have had dozens of guys,” Alfred said, with a somewhat suspicious frown.

  Caden sat up as he realised what Alfred thought. “I have. That’s not why I want to go slow.” Looking up through his lashes, he met the other man’s gaze and held it. “But they weren’t important. You are.”

  Alfred looked away. “There’s no need to make silly excuses. If you don’t want—”

  “I want,” Caden cut in. He wanted it so badly he could barely take a deep breath, but his usual flirtations obviously weren’t going to be enough to convince the other wolf of that. Not knowing what else to do, he grabbed Alfred’s hand and clumsily wrapped the other man’s fingers around his erection.

  Alfred’s anger faltered and gradually faded away, until only confusion was left.

  “I want everything you do,” Caden promised. “But, I don’t want us to get ahead of ourselves. You, this, us—it’s too important to screw up by rushing into things.”

  Alfred held his gaze for several long seconds. It took every scrap of strength Caden had to keep his eyes up and locked with Alfred’s rather than lowering them in submission.

  Very slowly, Alfred began to move his hand, stroking Caden’s cock with a slow, purposeful rhythm. Caden gasped. His eyes fell closed. “I…” His throat went dry. He was too close. He couldn’t get another word out. Caden covered Alfred’s hand with his own, in a request for him to stop.

  “If you’re going to try to tell me that that you really believe it’s too soon for me to even jack you off, I’m going to call you a liar.”

  Caden whimpered. For the first time he could remember, there was a touch of real confidence rather than mere bravado in Alfred’s voice. He deserved a reward for that. Caden was half tempted to believe that he deserved a reward too. Hell, he was pretty willing to believe anything in the world if it kept Alfred’s hand moving around his shaft.

  “Your hand must be sore after—”

  “I’ll be the judge of what I do with my own hands,” Alfred cut in.

  Helpless to do anything else, Caden gave in and nodded his willingness to alter his carefully laid-out plans.

  “No. Not until you move your hand out of the way.”

  Caden blinked open his eyes. He looked down at where his hand still covered Alfred’s. It would be a stupid thing to do. If he gave over too much control now, it would be so much harder for him to take back the reins when he needed to, and he knew he would need to at some point.

  But, in that moment, it didn’t really matter how much of a fool it made him, his hand fell to the blanket at his side and there was no way in hell he could stop it.

  Alfred grinned as he seemed to sense that he really was the king of the bed right then. If there was any hierarchy on the mattress, it was all going one way. He began to move his hand once more, very slowly, rubbing his thumb against the head of Caden’s cock, spreading the pre-cum over the sensitive tip.

  Caden moaned. His hips thrust up off the bed.

  He was a tease himself. He knew that. He was pretty willing to consider it one of his major life skills, but suddenly, Caden realised he had a competitor for the title of biggest tease in the bedroom, too.

  The light in Alfred’s eyes told him everything he needed to know. The other wolf had him in the palm of his hand, figuratively as well as literally, and he wasn’t going to give that up until he was bloody well ready.

  “Please?” Caden whispered, with his best-ever puppy-dog eyes.

  Alfred chuckled. The slow, infuriating rhythm didn’t change one bit. Caden bit down on his bottom lip. Obviously Marsdon had been right when he’d said that Alfred could be a sadistic little bastard when a man caught him in th
e wrong mood—or in the right mood. Caden’s jury was still out on that.

  Within minutes, teasing had turned to torment, as more and more bliss was forced into Caden’s body and he was refused any form of release. Alfred’s only response was to hum contentedly under his breath while he watched Caden squirm against the sheets. Bound more firmly by his own long-standing desire to submit to the other wolf than he could ever be by any leather or metal, Caden was helpless to do anything but take it.

  Pleasure built up inside him like an increasingly perilous tower. There was no way it could stand forever, no matter how hard he tried to strengthen it. Even as Caden realised that, a gust of breeze caught at the fragile ramparts and the whole thing came crashing down to earth. Pure ecstasy exploded inside Caden as it fell. Every cell in his body smashed into a million pieces, then somehow snapped back together.

  And through it all, Alfred’s hand never stopped moving. Caden’s fingers fisted into the blankets. His body arched off the bed, thrusting uncontrollably into his lover’s stationary grip. Then, as rapidly as it had picked him up and run with him, the bliss passed. Caden collapsed onto the mattress. Very slowly, he blinked open his eyes.

  Alfred was leaning on one elbow, staring down at him, his eyes full of fascination. He stroked his palm over Caden’s cock once more, pulling a whimper from him. Alfred must have known it was too soon for his touch to be anything other than painful, but he didn’t stop and Caden couldn’t scrape up the will to ask him to.

  A dozen or more strokes later, Alfred finally took his hand away of his own volition and Caden managed to take his first full breath since he had come. Relaxing back against the pillow, he had to force his eyes to stay open. Afterglow always made him sleepy, but he couldn’t allow that to make any difference right then.

  He had to stay awake, stay in control…

  Caden glanced at the other wolf. Alfred had rearranged himself with his head resting on his own pillow. The younger wolf wasn’t ready to take over control of them both yet, Caden knew that. Alfred still needed time to heal. He still had to find a better place in the pack, and Caden had no choice but to remain his equal while he did that.

  Tomorrow, Caden promised himself. Tomorrow, he’d get everything back on track and put his plan back on schedule and everything would be fine.

  For now, just while Alfred was watching over him, he’d close his eyes, just for a few moments…

  Chapter Three

  “What the hell happened?”

  Alfred tensed as he heard the alpha’s angry voice fill the air. He froze in his task, knowing all hell was about to rain down around him, knowing he had displeased the leader of his pack. Fight or flight instincts bounced around inside him fast enough to make him dizzy, but neither seemed able to win out. All he did was freeze in place like a bloody rabbit caught in the headlights.

  “Damn thing flooded,” Steffan called out from further down the field, where he was frantically working to stop more of the water rushing into the half-formed trench.

  His words freed Alfred to snap back to the task at hand. Keeping his head down, he worked just as hard as all the other wolves, ignoring the ache in his joints and the protests from his muscles as he pushed himself to keep going long past the point of exhaustion, in the vain hope of preventing any more damage being done.

  He didn’t even have time to worry about what would happen when the frenetic activity levels subsided and Marsdon had a chance to ask all those questions that Alfred was dreading having to answer. Then, without any warning, the last of the temporary repairs were put in place and the moment was already on top of him.

  “Who was supposed to be keeping a watch on the dam?” Marsdon demanded the moment he tossed down his shovel. As he glared around the group of wolves before him, the alpha tried to push his hair back from his face. He used the back of his wrist, but mud was still smeared across his forehead in the process.

  Alfred looked around the group. There was barely a patch on any of them that wasn’t coated in the stuff. No one said anything.

  The only sound Alfred heard was the frantic hammering of his own heart. There was a big rock half-covered in mud a yard or two to his left. Alfred moved his gaze to it and kept it firmly fixed there, doing his damnedest to look as inconspicuous as possible.

  A minute passed. A low growl escaped from the back of Marsdon’s throat. “Alfred?”

  “Why assume it was me?” Alfred snapped, tearing his eyes away from the rock and glaring back at his alpha with all the venom he could muster.

  “Because if it was anyone else, they’d have had the balls to own up and take responsibility by now!” Marsdon bit out as he turned to face him. “Get back to the house.”

  Alfred shook his head as guilt stabbed him in the gut and twisted the knife. His eyes ran over the mess all around him and, for the first time in so many years, he found himself looking for a way he could make things right rather than for a way to get out of being ordered to do that. “No, I can—”

  The alpha didn’t even wait to hear his offer. “Back to the house. Now!”

  Marsdon didn’t add that he didn’t want to set eyes on Alfred for the rest of the day. He didn’t have to. Alfred knew all that, and more, just from the tone of the older man’s voice. All the others had to know it too.

  He looked at the other gammas. They all stood in a ragged line with him, facing their alpha, leaning on their shovels as they tried to regain their breath. Not one of them was willing to meet his eyes. Their complete attention remained on Marsdon.

  There was no help to be found. Maybe Alfred had never given them reason to want to help him, but as they all seemed to turn their backs on him with perfect synchronicity, he’d never felt more alone in his life.

  He took a step back, more from the feeling of being without a pack than anything else. Finally, one of the gammas moved. Steffan’s head began to turn towards him.

  No! He couldn’t let the big oaf see any hint of fear in his eyes, any suspicion of weakness in his stance. Far better to be considered a thoughtless bastard than a coward. Spinning away from them all, Alfred cast his shovel aside as he turned tail and ran.

  He raced back towards the house, mud clinging to every inch of him. There was only so far he could run before his feet slowed to little more than a stiff-limbed shuffle.

  He trudged on, but the cold and the damp seemed to seep into his body even further with every step. He wrapped his arms around his torso, although it did little to keep out a chill that seemed to come from inside him as much as from outside.

  “What happened?”

  Alfred slowly lifted his gaze from the ground. Francis was rushing towards him, his eyes open wide with worry.

  “The area we dammed up before we started working on the river diversion collapsed,” Alfred informed him, knowing he wouldn’t get a moment’s peace from the stupid little fool until he answered all his damn questions.

  “Is anyone hurt?” the other wolf asked, the colour already draining from his face.

  “Steffan’s fine,” Alfred snapped, knowing that was the question the other wolf really wanted to ask. Francis just wasn’t honest enough to admit he cared more for his mate than for any other member of the pack.

  Storming into the house and slamming the door behind him, Alfred couldn’t help but think that if he was half as good as Francis was at telling all those appropriate little lies, the rest of the pack might like him just as much as they liked Francis.

  Stripping off his mud-soaked clothes, Alfred tossed them in the vague direction of the already-overflowing laundry hamper in the corner of his bedroom and scrambled into the shower.

  Hot water poured down over him. He scrubbed at his skin, leaving scratches and scrapes in his wake as he frantically tried to wash away both the mud and his mistakes at the same time. Soaping his hands, he lathered his skin, but the bubbles didn’t make him feel the least bit cleaner or any less like the pack’s resident screw-up.

  He’d only looked away for one stu
pid little minute! One bloody minute when his thoughts of Caden had got the better of his focus on that stupid dam, and now…

  Alfred shook his head, sending muddy water droplets splashing off his hair and running down the sides of the shower cubicle.

  And now, reality was back. Forget about being Alfred the potential mate, Alfred the wolf that Caden might actually think was worth his interest. He was Alfred the screw-up, Alfred who couldn’t be trusted to do a single damn thing right in his entire life.

  Dropping his head forward, he let his temple rest against the cold tiles. One tiny little lapse of concentration and everything was back to normal. If only he hadn’t been stupid enough to ever hope things could be different.

  Alfred turned off the water and rubbed half-heartedly at his skin with a rough towel. Somehow, he gathered the energy to retrace his steps into his bedroom and pull on a fresh set of clothes, but his limbs felt like lead. Every movement took more effort than anything could ever be worth.

  He was still sitting on the edge of his bed staring at nothing when he heard the rest of the pack arrive back at the house.

  Taking advantage of those moments when they would no doubt be tucked away in their own rooms and cleaning themselves up, Alfred hauled himself to his feet. Within seconds, he’d sneaked unseen out of his bedroom, down the stairs and out of the house.

  If Marsdon didn’t want to set eyes on him, fine. If the other wolves in the pack didn’t want to treat him like he was one of them, then that was bloody well fine too. Alfred didn’t need any of them. He scurried around the side of the building and quickly hid himself away in his favourite secluded little spot. No one was likely to come looking for him there. He sat down heavily on the overgrown grass and let out a sigh of relief.

  The wall had been warmed by the sun. He was out of the fresh spring wind. And, most importantly, he was out of range of the rest of the pack’s annoyance. Right then, Alfred was pretty sure that was the most he could hope for from life. Closing his eyes, he rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in his hands.